Earthquake in Asheville
Just another normal night in Asheville. Nice day actually, not too hot. Then it started happening...
Our neighborhood has a lot of dogs. You know, the whole American dream and everything. About 11:45 they all started going crazy. Constant howling, barking, running around out there. I didn't think much of it because I was in the loving arms of two hot 18 year old freshman I had just happened to pick up that night. Then, right as I came for the third time, the ground started vibrating. I thought, damn that was a good one, but the girls started panicking. The sound of explosions filled the air, the sky turned a sickly dark purple.
Dave Bell came bursting into my room, his incredibly long dick glistening in the night air. "Holy Shit! We just had an earthquake!" The girls and I couldn't believe it. We all ran outside to see the neighbors house nothing more than a pile of rubble. Thank God for our sturdy, Greek built house. Water mains had burst all over town, sending up huge plumes of water and making the roads innavigable. The distant sound of sirens and terrified screens filled the night, as we came to grips with what just happened. We all ran into the living room and turned the TV to channel 3. Sure enough, a breaking news story.
The news caster was terrified, tears rolled down her delicate face. The fake wall behind her had fallen over, revealing another stage behind her, and a lot of other studio equipment which was now in pieces. "Ladies and Gentlemen, it appears that Asheville has been hit by an earthquake. We ask you to stay calm and call us to report dead or missing relatives"
Not knowing what to do, we all started calling our relatives to tell them we're ok. Then the four of us had a massive orgy.
*Disclaimer: this story is not true. The girls were Rachel and Scarlett. The earthquake was a 3.8 magnitude in hotsprings, we only felt it for a second.
Our neighborhood has a lot of dogs. You know, the whole American dream and everything. About 11:45 they all started going crazy. Constant howling, barking, running around out there. I didn't think much of it because I was in the loving arms of two hot 18 year old freshman I had just happened to pick up that night. Then, right as I came for the third time, the ground started vibrating. I thought, damn that was a good one, but the girls started panicking. The sound of explosions filled the air, the sky turned a sickly dark purple.
Dave Bell came bursting into my room, his incredibly long dick glistening in the night air. "Holy Shit! We just had an earthquake!" The girls and I couldn't believe it. We all ran outside to see the neighbors house nothing more than a pile of rubble. Thank God for our sturdy, Greek built house. Water mains had burst all over town, sending up huge plumes of water and making the roads innavigable. The distant sound of sirens and terrified screens filled the night, as we came to grips with what just happened. We all ran into the living room and turned the TV to channel 3. Sure enough, a breaking news story.
The news caster was terrified, tears rolled down her delicate face. The fake wall behind her had fallen over, revealing another stage behind her, and a lot of other studio equipment which was now in pieces. "Ladies and Gentlemen, it appears that Asheville has been hit by an earthquake. We ask you to stay calm and call us to report dead or missing relatives"
Not knowing what to do, we all started calling our relatives to tell them we're ok. Then the four of us had a massive orgy.
*Disclaimer: this story is not true. The girls were Rachel and Scarlett. The earthquake was a 3.8 magnitude in hotsprings, we only felt it for a second.
posted by Kenny at
2:37 PM
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